How to understand and work with the stress response
During Stress Awareness Month, it can be helpful to understand what is happening in our minds and bodies when we feel overwhelmed. Stress is closely linked to our nervous system, particularly the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses.
These are automatic survival responses. They are not conscious choices, but deeply wired biological patterns designed to keep us safe. While they are useful in situations of real danger, they can also be triggered in everyday life, such as under work pressure, relationship difficulties, or emotional strain. Stress is not necessarily a bad thing, as it often motivates us to solve our problems. However, stress must be manageable, so it doesn’t consume our lives.
The four stress responses
Fight involves confronting a perceived threat. You might notice irritability, frustration, or a strong urge to regain control.
Flight is about escape. This can show up as restlessness, overworking, or avoiding situations that feel stressful.
Freeze occurs when things feel overwhelming. You may feel stuck, numb, or unable to act.
Fawn involves moving towards others to reduce tension, often through people-pleasing or difficulty saying no.
Each of these different responses is our body’s way of trying to protect us. Rather than trying to eliminate them, it can be more helpful to recognise when they are happening and respond with awareness.
Noticing stress in the body
Stress impacts the body physically, and these symptoms are often the first to show up. Becoming aware of the signs can help us to recognise when our nervous systems are under strain. You might notice the following:
A racing heart
Shallow or rapid breathing
Muscle tension, particularly in the jaw, neck or shoulders
Headaches or dizziness
Changes in appetite or digestion issues
Feeling on edge
Low energy
These are all part of the body’s natural alarm system. By noticing the physical symptoms and responding with helpful strategies, we can train the body to learn that it is safe and recover quickly. Over time, this can gradually build the body’s capacity to manage stress with greater flexibility.
Practical strategies for managing stress
Once you begin to notice your stress response, there are simple ways to support your nervous system:
Grounding in the present can help when your mind is racing or you feel disconnected. A helpful exercise is to name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This gently brings your attention back to the here and now.
Breathing techniques can calm your body. Try inhaling for four seconds, holding for four, and exhaling for six. Slowing the breath, particularly the exhale, can signal to the body that it is safe.
Physical Activity can release stress held in the body. This might look different depending on your response: more active movement if you feel agitated, slower and more rhythmic movement if you feel anxious, or very small, gentle movements if you feel shut down.
Setting boundaries is particularly important if you tend to prioritise others’ needs. Even pausing before saying yes, or giving yourself time to respond, can help you make more considered choices.
Social connection can be deeply regulating. Reaching out to someone you trust, even briefly, can reduce feelings of isolation and help you feel supported.
Self-compassion is key. Instead of criticising yourself, try acknowledging: “My body is trying to protect me.” Responding with kindness can soften the intensity of your stress response.
Focus on your basic needs, such as eating well, keeping a healthy sleep schedule, physical activity and other forms of self-care. These tend to be neglected under stress and reinforce the vicious cycle.
A final thought
Your stress responses are not signs of weakness. They are signs that your system is working to keep you safe. This Stress Awareness Month, you might begin by simply noticing your patterns and responding with a little more understanding. Small, compassionate steps can make a meaningful difference to your wellbeing over time.
If you feel that stress is becoming difficult to manage, or you would like support in understanding your responses more deeply, at MAPP Psychology, we can offer a safe, supportive, and non-judgemental space to explore your experiences and develop personalised ways of coping.
- Dr. Nisma Asif